Hashtags and @s

Since Ostara’s origins around the end of last year and the beginning of this, I have had to embrace social media in a way I don’t find easy. I haven’t ever been a big poster being frightened to encouraging criticism and being nervous of seeming self-absorbed. I also recognise the way people only show the life they wish to show – and why wouldn’t they? But try as I might I struggle to find the authenticity in that. I also have drifted from friends in a way that when we had to put pen to paper, we had been closer despite us all believing we are better connected now. I just prefer closer more intimate friendships.

I have found with Facebook I would fall down rabbit holes when entering new relationships and convince myself that their past relationships were more fun, more worthwhile than the one they were having with me. This state of mind was not about the man or his previous life, I did this with all relationships however meaningful or meaningless. It is just a self-sabotaging attack which I know even while deep in its grasp, will pass. At the time it is hugely unpleasant and yet common in many people’s lives. I have had several Facebook accounts. I don’t just deactivate them; I delete them only to start from scratch several years later. I did this again during COVID, as with Instagram and with Twitter. All gone, and bizarrely this was helped along by the new kid on the block at the time – the mighty Tik-Tok – the black hole of the social media world that hoovers up time like I have never known anything hoover up time before. And it was deleted too. But I admit that was a wrench, so addictive, so very addictive.

Now we are in 2025, and both Janene and I gulp. We are proud of Ostara and like the proud Mamas we are we want to share her with the world and that means getting out there and showing her off on social media. Because this is the way.

The first posts were put out there and we looked at the views, comments and likes not knowing which are the most important. It is all very tentative and then the Grimsby Telegraph printed our story, and we received so many of each and thankfully 99.9% were supportive and positive and the 0.1% wasn’t bad particularly either. And our confidence grows. We reveal ourselves and talk to camera, we talk about ourselves and our thoughts and feelings, our hopes and fears. We don’t filter or edit, and we are being treated kindly.

Ostara is to be a community. We know sometimes we will get it wrong, and others will point out our transgressions though hopefully with sensitivity - we are all learning after all. And all being well the community will support us all, allowing us to continue to carve out our paths whether we are Boomers, Gen Xs, Millennials, Gen Zs or in time Gen Alphas and beyond. Whether we dye or grow grey, take HRT or not, work or retire, gather friends or stay solo. All is good. Because this is our way.